Can straight men be addicted to gay sex?

Map of concentration of bi-curious men in the United States and Canada

Are you a heterosexual male but have had thoughts about what it would be like to have sex with another man? As it turns out, straight men that are interested in gay sex are not uncommon, in fact, the results might astound you.  Recent research by okcupid.com  reported that an astonishing 13% of straight men have had gay sex with other men, and another 5% said they haven’t yet but would like to have gay sex.

Their report mapped out the concentrations of gay curious men across the U.S. and Canada:

 

bi-curious map color code

 

So what do clinicians can think about this type of behavior in straight men? According to psychologist and certified sex addiction therapist that specializes in the treatment of sex addicts, Linda Hatch, some believe that if a straight man that has had sex with another man, he is covertly gay, and may be in need of help to overcome his shame, and “come out of the closet”, so to speak.

But this can’t  necessarily be  true for all men, can it? Wouldn’t it seem impossible to conclude that all men are gay or bisexual if they simply just acted out on a sexual act with another man, maybe just one time, or shouldn’t the question be “is this behavior addictive?” Having sex with another man just one time to “get it out of his system” does not necessarily conclude that he is gay, does it? Maybe he was just sexually adventurous and had taken advantage of a new sexual situation when it presented itself.

On the other hand, there are cases where the man  is very addicted to real or even virtual gay sex that is excessive, controlling and preoccupying to the point where there can be negative consequences in his life or relationships.  Some sex addiction therapists see this pattern when they find  some past history of trauma or sex abuse that is being played out compulsively in a sexually addictive behavior pattern, often mirroring early memories with strong sexual urges that come from deeply buried experiences.

Sex addiction therapists are often unable to answer the question of sexual orientation unless a sexual addiction has been defined, he could be a gay or bisexual man who is addicted to gay sex  and may be happier having relationships with men, or he could just be a straight man who acted out behavioral fantasies with a gay man, but he really does prefer relationships with a woman after he has acted out his gay sexual fantasy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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